Two words. So many thoughts. When becoming pregnant, many people get excited about the nursery, what life will like with a baby, and of course, the infamous baby shower. All of those are wonderful to celebrate and to be joyful of, but no one ever stops to think of what really matters.
Education + Support.
These two words have so much truth behind them when it comes to how I took to pregnancy prior to the baby arriving + now the baby being in our life. It is the one thing in this world that truly changes your identity, shifts your perspective, and you will never look at life the same. EVER again.
Why these two words? Let's break each one of them down.
Education.
Education. We talk about education when it comes to school. We go through kindergarten throughout elementary school. Middle school phases into high school. And in high school we are supposed to decide "what we want to be when we grow up" and to pick the college or university that suits us best. Little did many realize that an education is VERY important, but why don't we stop to think about education in other facets of our life? How to fix a car? How to paint a wall? How to pay a bill? So many things we are not taught in school, but they affect our real lives.
So this leaves me to say ... why are we not educated in becoming pregnant + having a baby? Is it because in school they tell us to not have sex, use protection, and to stay safe? As we get older and decide to want to have children, there is ZERO rules when it comes to parenting + raising children.
I, truthfully, wanted to spend the $ to educate myself and understand how pregnancy + postpartum truly worked. Here are some of the people / companies that I hired along the way through my pregnancy journey + postpartum:
- Pelvic Floor Therapist: I hired Gretchen Brooker and her team at Break Free Physical Therapy and it was honestly the best decision I've ever made. I learned about Pelvic Floor through IG but I knew deep down I wanted to see a human, a person who was specific to my needs and could help me understand what changes my body was going through. As I may not be the expert in pelvic floor, I can tell you that they catered to my needs, made sure I knew how to BREATHE while pushing, and helped me gain my confidence + strength to go work out again
- Lactation Consultant: I hired a local lactation consultant who can help you in person + virtually if needed. I was grateful that my insurance covered their cost, which is something I'd recommend for everyone to do is to check if their insurance covers any of these services, including lactation. They were so kind + helpful to help me understand what I was doing wrong to ensure that I can try to make things better.
- Night Nurse Consultant: Not having the knowledge of being around kids, I felt very vulnerable and terrified to take care of a baby. How to change a diaper? How to pick boogies? How to bathe them? Swaddle them? It was a whole new world and language for me, one that I never thought I would understand. Having her come to help me even with bottle / nipple sizes was tremendous and was worth the $ to have her come for 3-4 hours.
- Doula: If you haven't thought about hiring a doula when giving birth, I would RUN to find a good one, but find one before they are booked up/it's too late. I found my doula when I was 20 weeks pregnant and I was beyond grateful to have her. She came to the house twice to explain how her services worked along with paperwork for me to review + understand. Getting to know her made me feel safe knowing that she would be there the day I gave birth. Between her and the nurses, I felt so supported and it was truly a positive birth experience. The biggest difference between her and a nurse is when a nurse goes away, your doula is truly with you the entire time and that was extremely comforting to me.
- Mental Health Coach: I hired a company called Prospera which changed my life. Your hormones and emotions are running at different levels and it is VERY hard to figure out to handle them and what is wrong. With the help of an expert helping me reframe my thoughts, I felt more empowered with myself and slowly started to feel more confident.
- Postpartum Doula (Cleaning): Thinking about cleaning the house after having a baby is HARD. Unfortunately I cannot have energy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to get everything done the way I want it done. However, delegating work has been extremely important in my new role as a mom. Since hiring Elizabeth Donovan I feel like I can breathe a bit easier. She comes in and does laundry, changes sheets, makes beds, organizes diaper stations, vacuums the floors, and SO much more.
- Plenty of books: Prior to having my baby, I read SO many books when I was pregnant. I read books about what to expect when pregnant, how to be an entrepreneur and a mom, what to expect postpartum, and SO much more. Curious of the books I read? Comment below if you would like to know a breakdown of what book(s) I read when I was pregnant.
This might feel like an overwhelming list of things that I did, but you don't have to do any of them. Maybe you want to do all of them. Or you want to do some of them. You have to do what feels right for you, but if I can help even just 1 mom to share my experiences and my learnings, I know I did something right.
Support
Support. We talk about support when it comes to family, a partner, and even having friends to lean on. But what about as a new mom? If we don't live near family, what support do we really have? Support can come in many ways, and here are some that I found helpful in my particular situation:
- Living in a neighborhood with people your age. This is controversial as you may not be able to help where you live, but I know when my husband and I were looking into buying a home, I wanted to be around people since we truthfully did not know anyone around. It was nice to be with people around our age in the same age of life. It means you can meet up for a walk, get outside, and help a neighbor out when needed.
- Postpartum Support: Locally where I live they have Postpartum Support Charleston which is an incredible organization that helps women who are pregnant + postpartum. I, too, felt lonely and unsure of everything that was to come, and it was so nice to meet with other women who were in the same space of life to just talk, vent, laugh, maybe cry about all of the adjustments and changes that were to come. They offer a variety of classes, workshops, and ways to meet with other moms in the area. Some of the things I've done is to have a 1:1 mentor who was a stranger/outsider in my life who was nonjudgemental and was able to help me navigate muddy waters when figuring out my new normal. I also did their 2 hour class to have candid conversations, along with meeting at a community garden to make a bouquet of flowers with your baby.
- Having Mom Friends: Having friends going through the same season of life with you is EVERYTHING. Especially first time moms. I met a pregnant mom at the pool and at the time we were both pregnant with our babies. Our babies are 27 days apart, and it was so nice to talk to her about what she felt being pregnant, having the baby, and then what she went through after. It was so validating to hear how she was feeling, changes in her body, how she was adjusting to motherhood, and literally so much more. It is so nice for friends without kids to be understanding, kind, and even helpful, but there is something to be said about a mom friend who has been in your shoes before.
Now you tell me --> What helped you along your pregnancy & postpartum journey? There are no wrong or right ways to handle it, but everyone has their own journey and experience, whether positive or not.
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