The Silent Weight of “Doing It All”
Motherhood and entrepreneurship are both full-time jobs — except neither comes with days off, HR support, or a clean inbox (cue the violin 🎻).
After having my son, I thought “asking for help” meant I wasn’t cut out for this. I told myself I should be able to handle it. After all, I built a business from scratch, managed clients, balanced meals, naps, and late-night emails. I could do hard things — extremely hard things.
But eventually, I learned that doing everything doesn’t make you strong — it makes you tired. Like bone-deep, emotionally fried, borderline feral tired.
Help isn’t weakness.
Help is a strategy.
It’s how we create space to grow — in business, in motherhood, and honestly, in keeping our sanity intact.
What Help Actually Looks Like as a Mother and Entrepreneur
We often picture “help” as one moment — a babysitter, a meal, a cleaned-up kitchen.
But real help? It’s layered. It’s systems, boundaries, and emotional space.
It’s saying no before you spiral, or yes to things that bring peace instead of chaos.
Here’s what it really looks like in both worlds:
1. In Motherhood: Help Is Practical and Emotional
Practical help might be a grocery delivery, a carpool swap with another mom, or asking your partner to handle bedtime twice a week (without you having to explain the bedtime routine again).
Emotional help? That’s the friend who sends a “you’ve got this” text at 2 p.m.
It’s the therapist who reminds you you’re not broken.
It’s letting yourself cry in the shower instead of pretending everything’s fine.
Help can also mean not doing something.
Choosing store-bought cupcakes over homemade.
Letting laundry sit another day.
Saying, “I’m not available for this today.”
Motherhood help looks like community — not comparison.
2. In Entrepreneurship: Help Is Delegation and Support
In business, help looks like finally taking off your superhero cape and realizing you can’t (and shouldn’t) do it all.
It’s:
- Hiring a bookkeeper or VA so your brain isn’t juggling QuickBooks, content, and preschool pickup.
- Outsourcing design, scheduling, or podcast editing so you can focus on connection.
- Using automation tools to reclaim your hours — not to do more, but to rest more.
Entrepreneurs often think they need to “earn” help — like we get a gold star once our revenue hits six figures. But that’s backward.
You don’t get help because you’ve made it — you get help so you can make it sustainably.
Help is the smartest investment you’ll ever make in your business and your peace of mind.
Why It’s So Hard to Ask for Help
Let’s be real: asking for help is the emotional equivalent of peeling a sunburn.
It triggers all the uncomfortable feelings — guilt (“I should be able to do this”), shame (“People will think I can’t handle it”), fear (“What if no one shows up?”).
And as entrepreneurs, we’ve built this illusion of independence — “I’m my own boss, I’ve got this.”
But freedom still requires support.
If you were raised to be capable, responsible, or the “strong one,” asking for help might feel like a foreign language.
But capability doesn’t mean isolation.
You can be independent and still supported.
Strong and still soft enough to say, “I can’t do this alone today.”
How to Ask for Help Without Guilt (or Cringe)
Here’s the truth: no one can read your mind — not your partner, your team, your friends, or your clients.
You deserve to communicate your needs clearly, without apology.
Here’s how to do it like a grown woman who has things to do and zero time for martyrdom:
1. Be Specific
“I need help” is too vague — it leaves everyone guessing.
Say what kind of help would actually lift the weight.
- “Can you take over dinner Thursday so I can finish reports?”
- “Can you watch the baby for an hour so I can rest before a meeting?”
- “Can you remind me I’m doing okay because I’m spiraling a little today?”
Specific = supportable. People want to help; they just need directions.
2. Separate the Task From the Emotion
We often confuse the two.
You’re not asking for help because you’re failing — you’re asking because you’re human.
Repeat this out loud if you need to:
“Delegation is a leadership skill. Rest is a business strategy.”
You’re not taking from anyone — you’re creating space to give your best energy back.
3. Make a “Help Menu”
This one’s fun (and wildly effective).
Write a list of ways people can support you — both in motherhood and business.
Example Help Menu:
- Pick up my Target drive-up order
- Send a funny meme when I’m overwhelmed
- Watch the kids for an hour so I can record a podcast
- Take one thing off my to-do list
- Remind me that resting is productive
You can even text your list to your partner or close friends so when you say “I need help,” they already know what that means.
4. Normalize It Out Loud
When you ask for help, you’re not just getting support — you’re giving permission for other women to do the same.
Say things like:
- “I’m getting help with this project so I can focus on what matters most.”
- “I realized I don’t have to do it all alone.”
- “I’m investing in support so I can show up better — not busier.”
Normalize help. It’s not lazy — it’s leadership.
What Happens When You Start Asking
When you start asking for help, everything shifts.
You get your evenings back.
You breathe easier.
Your relationships soften.
Your creativity returns.
Your kids see a mom who leads with honesty, not perfection.
Your clients see a business owner who values balance, not burnout.
And one day you realize: help was never the problem — it was the missing piece.
If You Still Feel Resistance, Try This
When guilt creeps in, remember:
- You weren’t meant to do this alone.
- Villages look different now — sometimes they’re online or made up of people you met through work.
- Asking for help isn’t failure — it’s growth.
Start small. Ask for help with one thing this week.
See how it feels. Then do it again.
Every time you ask, it gets a little easier — and your life gets a little lighter.
Closing Reflection
Help, at its core, is love in action. It’s saying, “I trust you enough to let you in.”
As moms and entrepreneurs, we pour endlessly — into our kids, our clients, our homes. But we can’t pour from empty (and coffee doesn’t count as a coping mechanism forever). Asking for help isn’t surrender. It’s strategy. It’s building a business and a family that actually feels sustainable.
Because the most successful women I know?
They’re not doing it all.
They’re doing it all together. 💕
.png)
